Hank Moody DE - Californication

Hier haben wir einige Zitate von Hank Moody zusammengetragen. Diese stammen aus der US-Version der Serie, da eine deutsche Synchronisation (zum Glueck?) noch nicht vorliegt.

Sobald es deutsche Zitate gibt, werden wir diese hier auch einfuegen - vielleicht ist die Synchro ja gar nicht so grottig, wie man es gewohnt ist.

Californication: Pilot (#1.1)
Hank Moody: [upon getting fellatio from a nun] Sweet baby Jesus, Hank is going to hell.

Hank Moody: Yo K-Fed, the little man on the boat he's up here, that's where he is, right here.
[makes V symbol and dirty tongue motion towards top]

Becca: Father?
Hank Moody: Daughter?
Becca: Can I ask you something?
Hank Moody: Anything, my love.
Becca: Why is there a naked lady in your bedroom?
Hank Moody: You stay right here.
Becca: There's no hair on her vagina. Do you think she's ok?
Hank Moody: I'll check.

Hank Moody: So, not only are you a cadaverous lay, you also have terrible taste in movies.

[Hank and Mia had a one-night stand]
Karen Van Der Beek: This is Mia, Bill's daughter, and this is Hank. You two know each other?
Hank Moody: No.
Mia Gross: Well, I do recognize you.
Hank Moody: No.
Mia Gross: Yeah, sure I do.
Hank Moody: No.
Mia Gross: From your book. Your picture is on the back.

Hank Moody: Now you're giving me that look, right now, look like I fingerbanged your cat.

Hank Moody: What?
Karen Van Der Beek: You smell like pussy.
Hank Moody: Thank you.

[to Karen]
Hank Moody: Oh, I know that look. That's the look that shrivels me testes.

Hank Moody: I was just talking to your husband here.
Nun: Is there anything that I can help you with?
Hank Moody: Oh no, I don't want to bother a real live person about it.

Californication: Hell-A Woman (#1.2)
Hank Moody: Hell-A Magazine blog number 1. Hank hates you all. A few things I've learned on my travels through this crazy little thing called life. One, a morning of awkwardness is better than a night of loneliness. Two, I probably won't go down in history, but I will go down on your sister. And 3, while I'm down there it might be nice to see a hint of pubis. I'm not talking about a huge 70's Playboy bush or anything. Just something that reminds me that I'm performing cunnilingus on an adult. But I guess the larger question is why is the city of angels so hell bent on destroying it's female population.

Hank Moody: [looking in bathroom mirror] Nobody likes you, you're ugly and your mother dresses you funny. Now smile, you douche.

[about a painting]
Hank Moody: What the fuck is that?
Bill Lewis: Oh, you like it? I could have bought a car instead.
Hank Moody: I think you should still buy the car and then run over whoever created that turd.

Hank Moody: Well, your breasts are obviously real... and... eh... you have an abundance of pubic hair, which is really nice and... eh... there's no evidence of vaginal rejuvenation. I'd say, aside from the fact that you worship a space alien, you just might be the most beautiful woman I've seen in a long, long time

Californication: The Whore of Babylon (#1.3)
Meredith: My baby.
Hank Moody: You have a baby with married guy? Holy fuck!
Meredith: No, my dog, Cat Stevens.
Hank Moody: You have a dog named Cat Stevens? Holy fuck!

Hank Moody: What the fuck do you want?
Mia Lewis: I'm late.
Hank Moody: What? That's not possible. I...I...I...I...I...I...I wore a condom. That's... that would be like, uh, the immaculate conception. And you, you're the one who... y, you... and then you left.
Mia Lewis: I'm late for school.

[trying to lure a dog named Cat Stevens]
Hank Moody: Hey, Cat Stevens. C'mere, Cat. Come here. I'll take you away from all this. Cat... Yusuf Islam. Peace Train's a good song. C'mere, Cat. C'mere.

Californication: Fear and Loathing at the Fundraiser (#1.4)
Hank Moody: [Charlie hugs Hank] Oh, big boy... are you crying?
Charlie Rumkle: A little.
Hank Moody: Jesus Christ.

Hank Moody: [after catching Charlie photographing his secretary] Holy Fuck-nuts!
Charlie Rumkle: Shit!
[falls over]

Californication: LOL (#1.5)
Hank Moody: I love women. I have all their albums.

[to Meredith]
Hank Moody: Try not to forget all the times I brought you to fruition. 33 to be exact.

[to Meredith]
Hank Moody: Hey. You know, it's not fair to say BRB and then never actually BRB.

Hank Moody: 'B' to the 'I' to the double 'L'. What's up, my nig nog?
Bill Lewis: I need to talk to you.
Hank Moody: Well, you should have called. I wouldn't have answered, but you could've left a message, which I would have quickly erased.

Radio Show Host: What's your latest obsession?
Hank Moody: Just the fact that people seem to be getting dumber and dumber. You know, I mean we have all this amazing technology and yet computers have turned into basically four figure wank machines. The internet was supposed to set us free, democratize us, but all it's really given us is Howard Dean's aborted candidacy and 24 hour a day access to kiddie porn. People... they don't write anymore, they blog. Instead of talking, they text, no punctuation, no grammar: LOL this and LMFAO that. You know, it just seems to me it's just a bunch of stupid people pseudo-communicating with a bunch of other stupid people at a proto-language that resembles more what cavemen used to speak than the King's English.
Radio Show Host: Yet you're part of the problem, I mean you're out there blogging with the best of them.
Hank Moody: Hence my self-loathing.

Californication: Absinthe Makes the Heart Grow Fonder (#1.6)
Hank Moody: Don't you lock?

Karen: What would you do if our little spawn actually became, like, a rock star?
Hank Moody: I would be really proud of her.
Karen: You would?
Hank Moody: And I would be there to help pump her stomach when she OD'd.

Hank Moody: What is your name, by the way?
Venice Beach Girl: Wouldn't you rather just fuck me and never know?
Hank Moody: Oh, fuck. Who says romance is dead?

Californication: Girls, Interrupted (#1.7)
Hank Moody: How the fuck do you option a blog? What is there to option? The title? The font?

Hank Moody: [to Charlie] I know you Hebrews do things a little differently, but the last time I checked a ménage à trois was not a pitstop on the road to redemption.

Hank Moody: Just because something is bleak doesn't necessarily make it true.

Californication: California Son (#1.8)
Hank Moody: You can't snort a line of coke off a woman’s ass and not wonder about her hopes and dreams, it's not gentlemanly.

Trixie: So what are your thoughts of rehab?
Hank Moody: Rehab is for quitters.

Charlie Runkle: I'm sorry about your old man. You know, he was a good guy.
Hank Moody: No he was not. He used to say you looked like a walking penis.
Charlie Runkle: Well, that's not very nice.

Californication: Filthy Lucre (#1.9)
Becca Moody: Father?
Hank Moody: Offspring?

Hank Moody: Sometimes, it's best not to get involved in the affairs of others.
Becca Moody: That's interesting, coming from the most intrusive man I know.

Californication: The Devil's Threesome (#1.10)
Charlie Runkle: What've you got going on later?
Hank Moody: Oh, I don't know... I thought I'd start the day with some dry toast and half a grapefruit, bust out the old computer, bang out 10 pages, maybe go for a run. Maybe I'll just jerk off and go back to bed. Wake me up when you come home.

Hank Moody: What about the Marce? You gotta miss the Marce. I know you miss the Marce, right? That sexy, little smurf was good to you.
Charlie Runkle: That sexy, little smurf cheated on me with my assistant.
Hank Moody: Yes, but you cheated on her with your assistant. First, I might add.

Californication: Turn the Page (#1.11)
Hank Moody: You are a very young sociopath in training.
Mia Lewis: Oh, come on. That's like Satan calling one of his junior minions a big meanie.

Hank Moody: Sorry, I'm late. I just, uh...
Charlie Runkle: You just what?
Hank Moody: Nah, that's all I got.